Post by allyson581 on Oct 1, 2017 6:45:35 GMT -5
I’m new to this forum.
I’m sorry this long but I have to know if others think the same as I do even though my gut is saying the truth. This post is not really about addiction so anyone who wants to jump on his/her moral horse with your moral compass out... just don’t judge or post. About the drugs. Especially if your not an addict cuz you won’t truly empathize the issues and there is absolutely nothing you can say I don’t know as I have been an addict, non needle on/off ( major off) for 25+ years. Same for recovering addicts, you are the worst. THIS POST IS FOR HELP WITH SUSPICIONS ABOUT CHEATING INLY. Thank you for respecting my wishes on this.
I am having the gut feeling about my husband cheating. I suspect it and he denies it. I thought I had picked a nice guy, finally. I know this man loved me more than any man ever has and we had 10 magical, happy, close years together where I never questioned his fidelity.
First my background: My first husband, ended with a divorce. The an affair destroyed me (and I let it) from him cheating with a woman who already had his kid. It was ugly. With years of denial, hearing I’m crazy. I would be in super sleuth mode for months Trying to check his phone records, bills, etc, you know the drill.....but technology isn’t like today. He gaslighted me on it and it was torture. I knew it, he denied it, I couldn’t prove it....my gut knew it, but then I’d believe him for a while, but that gut feeling and the the suspicions began again. I self destructed big time, drugs, alcohol, lost full custody of my kids, lost the house and all my money as he gambled.. It was, of course, completely true of the affair. Of course. Duh!!
Anyway, I had a child with my current husband and I completely trusted him until we moved out of state to where he comes from because 2007 depression hit us hard financially. We stopped using to start anew financially. We were not using when we met but did pretty heavily for 6 months. So when we moved we wanted a fresh start but a year later he used meth. I did too; and I didn’t like it, but did it. Some too simply cuz it’s there-and because I’m a addict, I begged him to stop. I’m too old for that crap and we have a child. (She is a straight A student and scored. In the top 10% in California in the mass and has been a joy, comfort and priott in my life and I am so very blessed to be give this beautiful gift.
After the meth, he chaged.
1st incident. Looked. At his phone browsing history because his drug runs would be very long sometimes. I caught him looking up hookers. I confronted him and he said he didn’t do it and nothing happened. He was hyper-sexualized and I wasn’t at all. My trust was gone and I explained that as far as it goes he WAS unfaithful just by looking. do it and really changed as a man. The Magic and special relationship so full of trust and love was. Shattered and we argued and fought for the first time.
I made it past the hump by explaining how it changed us. This act of seeking sex with another woman whether happened or not like I was earnestly told. It was cheating I told him but he said it wasn’t cuz he didn’t actually didn’t happen. I don’t care. What you think, you deceived me. It was cheating. I asked for free access to his phone as he no longer had my faith and lost his right to privacy. He did all I asjed. I explained I would be very angry at times and he let me. I started making live with frequently. As I was weak in that area before the hooker seeking. I wanted to remain married, I loved him but the pedestal under him had firmly been kicked out beneath him.
2nd)
More suspicious late, long drug runs continued but believable reasons existed but I would not belittle myself and super spy. It takes more strength to make. A decision to have faith than it is to be an accusatory suspicious wife. Drug runs are fraught, by their very nature of things going wrong. But his browning data had periods of unused browsing history not there but and found his phone in privacy mode deleted. he knew I still checked it. Text between a friend/buddy were deleted every night and this one drug buddy was a player.so I didn’t see how the night happened. The gut feeling
3rd) I doula a blanket and pillow in the rear of our Chevy blazer. These were. For when he was waiting for his connection. This is frequent. Waiting on “stuff”. That gut feeling. Told me it was also if we wanted to “play” as I sometimes went with him but preferred to stay home with my kid. We had never done this
4th). I found a string of those tiny string lights that’s popular now to string a porch railing or make a frame for a window which is why I bought them. Well, one was in the car as it took only two of the three I bought.
These happened over a year and a half.
I was lying in bed. With him but watching Apple TV and the 4 thing melded into The gut feeling. I turned over and told him in a normal voice l hope you at least used a cinder with tat girl. Then I got out of bed for a smoke. I didnt to talk further because he said upon return, I never cheated and can’t we get past the incident go and let it go? I sai “I’m just kidding you”. Mainly because his denials. Would have angered me. He was not sleeping as blissful innocent and rubbed my ack and rubbed his hand around my back telling me how much he loved me.
I got up to write this. Opinions please on your take? (again I know I shouldn’t do drugs so keep out the judgement, you will just be trying to make me see how better you are than me and I agree, lucky you)
Apologies for spelling and grammar
I’m sorry this long but I have to know if others think the same as I do even though my gut is saying the truth. This post is not really about addiction so anyone who wants to jump on his/her moral horse with your moral compass out... just don’t judge or post. About the drugs. Especially if your not an addict cuz you won’t truly empathize the issues and there is absolutely nothing you can say I don’t know as I have been an addict, non needle on/off ( major off) for 25+ years. Same for recovering addicts, you are the worst. THIS POST IS FOR HELP WITH SUSPICIONS ABOUT CHEATING INLY. Thank you for respecting my wishes on this.
I am having the gut feeling about my husband cheating. I suspect it and he denies it. I thought I had picked a nice guy, finally. I know this man loved me more than any man ever has and we had 10 magical, happy, close years together where I never questioned his fidelity.
First my background: My first husband, ended with a divorce. The an affair destroyed me (and I let it) from him cheating with a woman who already had his kid. It was ugly. With years of denial, hearing I’m crazy. I would be in super sleuth mode for months Trying to check his phone records, bills, etc, you know the drill.....but technology isn’t like today. He gaslighted me on it and it was torture. I knew it, he denied it, I couldn’t prove it....my gut knew it, but then I’d believe him for a while, but that gut feeling and the the suspicions began again. I self destructed big time, drugs, alcohol, lost full custody of my kids, lost the house and all my money as he gambled.. It was, of course, completely true of the affair. Of course. Duh!!
Anyway, I had a child with my current husband and I completely trusted him until we moved out of state to where he comes from because 2007 depression hit us hard financially. We stopped using to start anew financially. We were not using when we met but did pretty heavily for 6 months. So when we moved we wanted a fresh start but a year later he used meth. I did too; and I didn’t like it, but did it. Some too simply cuz it’s there-and because I’m a addict, I begged him to stop. I’m too old for that crap and we have a child. (She is a straight A student and scored. In the top 10% in California in the mass and has been a joy, comfort and priott in my life and I am so very blessed to be give this beautiful gift.
After the meth, he chaged.
1st incident. Looked. At his phone browsing history because his drug runs would be very long sometimes. I caught him looking up hookers. I confronted him and he said he didn’t do it and nothing happened. He was hyper-sexualized and I wasn’t at all. My trust was gone and I explained that as far as it goes he WAS unfaithful just by looking. do it and really changed as a man. The Magic and special relationship so full of trust and love was. Shattered and we argued and fought for the first time.
I made it past the hump by explaining how it changed us. This act of seeking sex with another woman whether happened or not like I was earnestly told. It was cheating I told him but he said it wasn’t cuz he didn’t actually didn’t happen. I don’t care. What you think, you deceived me. It was cheating. I asked for free access to his phone as he no longer had my faith and lost his right to privacy. He did all I asjed. I explained I would be very angry at times and he let me. I started making live with frequently. As I was weak in that area before the hooker seeking. I wanted to remain married, I loved him but the pedestal under him had firmly been kicked out beneath him.
2nd)
More suspicious late, long drug runs continued but believable reasons existed but I would not belittle myself and super spy. It takes more strength to make. A decision to have faith than it is to be an accusatory suspicious wife. Drug runs are fraught, by their very nature of things going wrong. But his browning data had periods of unused browsing history not there but and found his phone in privacy mode deleted. he knew I still checked it. Text between a friend/buddy were deleted every night and this one drug buddy was a player.so I didn’t see how the night happened. The gut feeling
3rd) I doula a blanket and pillow in the rear of our Chevy blazer. These were. For when he was waiting for his connection. This is frequent. Waiting on “stuff”. That gut feeling. Told me it was also if we wanted to “play” as I sometimes went with him but preferred to stay home with my kid. We had never done this
4th). I found a string of those tiny string lights that’s popular now to string a porch railing or make a frame for a window which is why I bought them. Well, one was in the car as it took only two of the three I bought.
These happened over a year and a half.
I was lying in bed. With him but watching Apple TV and the 4 thing melded into The gut feeling. I turned over and told him in a normal voice l hope you at least used a cinder with tat girl. Then I got out of bed for a smoke. I didnt to talk further because he said upon return, I never cheated and can’t we get past the incident go and let it go? I sai “I’m just kidding you”. Mainly because his denials. Would have angered me. He was not sleeping as blissful innocent and rubbed my ack and rubbed his hand around my back telling me how much he loved me.
I got up to write this. Opinions please on your take? (again I know I shouldn’t do drugs so keep out the judgement, you will just be trying to make me see how better you are than me and I agree, lucky you)
Apologies for spelling and grammar
